Once upon a time I got married. On our way to happily ever after, we got divorced thereby increasing our chances of happily ever after tenfold. I like to think I have a reasonable relationship with my ex-husband. Mind you, I like to think I have a reasonable relationship with spiders, too. I pretend they don't exist and try not to kill them even when tempted. I'm Buddhist like that.
This story may or may not have something to do with my ex-husband.
So this guy I know, he started running at some point. I don’t mean running like, “Hey, I’m posting to Facebook because I did a couple of minutes on a treadmill” kind of running. I mean “Run, Forest, RUN!” running. And then he started running more and more and more. I have my suspicions that it was partially to escape from his unpleasant wife.
Anyway, early in his journey to becoming an UltraMarathonMan, I did a bit of research into important things for distance running including muscle recovery. In his last big run before his first full marathon taper (it’s a thing) I went and bought him some new skins, some kit and some tissue salts. Okay, actually I bought magnesium.
I had researched it. I told him to take some before his run which he did.
He also bought himself some super-duper sports drink which contained high levels of magnesium and he drank that too.
When he stumbled up to the back door, wide eyed and traumatised looking, I wondered if he had been chased by a man with a knife or been molested by a posse of delinquent possums.
It turns out that too much magnesium causes massive bouts of almost immediate explosive diarrhoea, which can be difficult to manage when you’re running beside a major road at night.
He now frequently runs races in excess of 100kms which the kids and I are all very impressed with. His team even won a major race this year. Sometimes though when he pisses me off, I remember that night fondly.
Non-sponsor note - If you ever find yourself in this situation (or even just need to go to the toilet at your own pace sometime) you should totally be using Who Gives a Crap toilet paper. It's not just kind on your bum. Who Gives A Crap give 50% of their profits to water aid to build toilets and improve sanitation in the developing world. Plus they home deliver and have awesome biodegradable wrapping. It's certainly the toilet paper of choice at HSD. So now you know. Just in case you were wondering. You're welcome.